Week 8 post 1

Gratitude: is the feeling of reverence for things that are given

Being thankful

Grateful disposition predicts greater:

Happiness
Life satisfaction
Optimism

Predicts lower levels of:

Envy
Possessiveness
Anxiety
Depression

It also predicts

Reduced post-traumatic stress in veterans and female college students (kashdan, 2006; vernon, 2009)
More pro social leadership (michi, 2009)
Greater relationship satisfaction (gordon et al., 2011)

Dr. Emmons :

Gratitude can heal, energy, and change lives

A turning of the mind

Affirmation of goodness

Habitually looking at life through gratitude.

Grateful people see all of life the good and the bad and they choose to see life as a gift

A glass half empty vs a glass half full

Can you be grateful and not happy? Discussion

If gratitude is an emotion that we measure just based on individual occurrences, and happiness is just a feeling then yes, it is possible at times not to be happy as a direct result of being grateful. But according to Dr. Emmons definition we need to look at this more broadly, it is a way to look at life and view its events in a positive light, to focus on what is good and what we revere. I believe this leads to a happier life in both the long and short run. That does not mean that we do not feel sad or disappointed at times, but that we put those feelings in a certain framework that makes it easier for us to process them more positively and to recognize that all paths have elements of these feelings and that one cannot experience happiness on its own without these element.

Pay it forward by robert emmons

I have a desire to do something in return. To do thanks. To give thanks. Give things. Give thoughts. Give love. So gratitude becomes the gift, creating a cycle of giving and receiving, the endless waterfall. Filling up and spilling over… perhaps not even to the giver but to someone else, to whoever crosses one’s path. It is the simple passing on of the gift. - elizabeth bartlett
It has been argued that males in particular may resist experiencing and expressing gratefulness insomuch as it implies dependency and indebtedness
STUDY 1 group keeps a gratitude journal, one group listed 5 events that affected them, and were asked to not add emotions into that.
At the end of the 10 weeks, participants who’d kept a gratitude journal felt better about their lives as a whole and were more optimistic about the future than participants in either of the other two conditions.
If you want to sleep more soundly, count blessings, not sheep.
WHY IS GRATITUDE GOOD
First, gratitude strengthens social ties. It cultivates an individual’s sense of interconnectedness.
A second reason supporting the power of gratitude is that gratitude increases one’s sense of personal worth.
we understand that another person wishes us well, and in turn, we feel loved and cared for.
gratitude can be a powerful antidote to a depressed view of life.
One of the reasons gratitude makes us happier is that it forces us to abandon a belief that may accompany severe depression—that the world is devoid of goodness, love, and kindness, and is nothing but randomness and cruelty

Happiness Practice #8: Gratitude Letter

Psychological Benefits of Gratitude:

General benefits

Increased happiness and prosocial tendencies
Decreased negative states, stress, anti-social sentiments

Phil watkins

Enhances frequency and magnitude of enjoyment, of pleasant positive emotional experiences in the present moment- it amplifies the good

Grateful people more apt to savor positive experiences
Grateful; [epple more inclined to notice positive events- the “positivity bias”
It amplifies the good
Gratitude counteracts adaptation/habituation
Grateful people recognize perks that others take for granted
Gratitude lowers the threshold of appreciation for everyday events

Facilitates access and enjoyment of pleasant, positive memories

Grateful people reminisce on savor-worthy moments more readily
This ability shapes expectations and reflexive judgements to be more positive and pro social

After stressful events grateful people are:

More likely to engage in positive reinterpretation and growth
Less likely to engage in self-blame
Less likely to try to disengage from the negative event
ALL of this leads to less stress

Psychological

Higher levels of positive emotions
More alert, alive, and awake
More joy and pleasure
More optimism and happiness

Physical

Stronger immune systems
Less bothered by aches and pains
Lower blood pressure
Exercise more and take better care of their health
Sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking

Social

More helpful, generous, and compassionate
More forgiving
More outgoing
Feel less lonely and isolated

1. Gratitude allows us to celebrate the present: It magnifies positive emotions.

2. Gratitude blocks toxic, negative emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret—emotions that can destroy our happiness.

3. Grateful people are more stress resistant.

4. Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth.

Practicing gratitude can be at odds with some deeply ingrained psychological tendencies.

when good things happen to us, we attribute them to something we did, but when bad things happen, we blame other people or circumstances.
Gratitude also goes against our need to feel in control of our environment
gratitude contradicts the “just-world” hypothesis, which says that we get what we deserve in life

^Catherine Price

“Sometimes positive psychologists sound like we’re trying to sell miracles to people. There are no miracles. … There are no long-term quick fixes for happiness,” said Peterson

Robert Emmons->

How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times
Trials and suffering can actually refine and deepen gratefulness if we allow them to show us not to take things for granted

There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals. The contrast between suffering and redemption serves as the basis for one of my tips for practicing gratitude: remember the bad.

This process of remembering how difficult life used to be and how far we have come sets up an explicit contrast that is fertile ground for gratefulness.

First, think about one of the unhappiest events you have experienced. How often do you find yourself thinking about this event today? Does the contrast with the present make you feel grateful and pleased? Do you realize your current life situation is not as bad as it could be? Try to realize and appreciate just how much better your life is now.

In a study conducted at Eastern Washington University, participants were randomly assigned to one of three writing groups that would recall and report on an unpleasant open memory—a loss, a betrayal, victimization, or some other personally upsetting experience. The first group wrote for 20 minutes on issues that were irrelevant to their open memory. The second wrote about their experience pertaining to their open memory.

Researchers asked the third group to focus on the positive aspects of a difficult experience—and discover what about it might now make them feel grateful. Results showed that they demonstrated more closure and less unpleasant emotional impact than participants who just wrote about the experience without being prompted to see ways it might be redeemed with gratitude.

Physical benefits

Fewer physical ailments and discomforts
Reduced blood pressure

Social benefits

Sorority sisters who felt grateful for gifts made more friends in sorority three weeks later (algoe et al., 2008)
Partners who receive report greater greatitude relationship satisfaction (algoe et al., 2013)

The find remind and bind emotion

Gratitude helps us:

Find identify partners/friends for solid relationships
Reminds us of our partners strengths
binds us close to them

Wendy Berry Mendes

Phil Watkins

gratitude amplifies the good in cognitive processes,

and amplifies the good in your relationships as well.

Love, Honor, and Thank

By Jess Alberts and Angela Trethewey

The division of household labor is one of the most frequent sources of conflict in romantic relationships

As couples researchers Philip and Carolyn Cowan have shown, when partners feel that the division of labor (a combination of housework and paid work) in their relationship is unfair, they are more dissatisfied with their marriage and more likely to think they would be better off divorced.

if you don’t feel that your partner is grateful for your efforts, especially if you perform the lion’s share of domestic labor, that’s likely to exacerbate feelings of inequity and dissatisfaction, making a difficult situation even worse.

Challenges to gratitude

roadblocks/obstacles to gratitude

individualism/narcissism
Materialism
Time (over scheduling)

skepticism/myths about gratitude

Gratitude is superficial and just good manners
Gratitude leads to complacency
Gratitude makes us over accommodating or self-effacing
Gratitude is not possible in the midst of suffering

Discussion, do you struggle with any of these challenges to gratitude

When bombarded with a series of challenges, I have to admit, it was very difficult, almost impossible, to be grateful. In the same manner, after a good amount of crying and mourning over the pain, having wonderful people around to show their love and support was a clear proof that there is more than one reason to be grateful amidst the pain and suffering.

What Gets in the Way of Gratitude?

By Robert Emmons

According to Mark T. Mitchell, professor of political science at Patrick Henry College in Virginia:

Gratitude is born of humility, for it acknowledges the giftedness of the creation and the benevolence of the Creator. This recognition gives birth to acts marked by attention and responsibility. Ingratitude, on the other hand, is marked by hubris, which denies the gift, and this always leads to inattention, irresponsibility, and abuse.

In gratitude and humility we turn to realities outside of ourselves. We become aware of our limitations and our need to rely on others. In gratitude and humility, we acknowledge the myth of self-sufficiency.

Humility is a key to gratitude because living humbly is the truest approach to life.

Five Myths about Gratitude

1. Gratitude leads to complacency

the opposite is true: Gratitude not only doesn’t lead to complacency, it drives a sense of purpose and a desire to do more

My colleagues and I have found that people are actually more successful at reaching their goals when they consciously practice gratitude. When we ask people to identify six personal goals on which they want to work over the next 10 weeks—these could be academic, spiritual, social, or health-related goals, like losing weight—we find that study participants randomly assigned to keep a gratitude journal, recording five things for which they’re grateful once a week, exert more effort toward those goals than participants who aren’t made to practice gratitude. In fact, the grateful group makes 20 percent more progress toward their goals than the non-grateful group—but they don’t stop there. They report still continuing to strive harder toward their goals

2. Gratitude is just a naïve form of positive thinking

gratitude as a specific way of thinking about receiving a benefit and giving credit to others beside oneself for that benefit. In fact, gratitude can be very difficult because it requires that you recognize your dependence on others, and that’s not always positive. You have to humble yourself, in the sense that you have to become a good receiver of others’ support and generosity. That can be very hard—most people are better givers than receivers.

When people are grateful, they aren’t necessarily free of negative emotions—we don’t find that they necessarily have less anxiety or less tension or less unhappiness. Practicing gratitude magnifies positive feelings more than it reduces negative feelings. If it was just positive thinking, or just a form of denial, you’d experience no negative thoughts or feelings when you’re keeping a gratitude journal, for instance. But, in fact, people do.

3. Gratitude makes us too self-effacing

In one study, researchers administered a purportedly difficult test and told the study participants that they could win money for doing well on the test. Then the participants received a helpful hint that would help them get a high score.All the participants regarded the hint as helpful. But only those who felt personally responsible for their own score felt grateful for the hint. Gratitude was actually associated with a greater sense of personal control over one’s success.

4. Gratitude isn’t possible—or appropriate—in the midst of adversity or suffering

I believe not only is gratitude possible in those circumstances—it’s vital to helping us get through them. When faced with adversity, gratitude helps us see the big picture and not feel overwhelmed by the setbacks we’re facing in the moment. And as I’ve suggested above, that attitude of gratitude can actually motivate us to tackle the challenges before us. Without a doubt, it can be hard to take this grateful perspective, but research suggests it is possible, and it is worth it.

in which participants were asked to recall an unpleasant, unresolved memory—a time they were victimized or betrayed or hurt in some way that still made them upset. The participants were randomly assigned to complete one of three different writing exercises, one of which involved focusing on positive aspects of the upsetting experience and considering how it might now make them feel grateful.

The results showed that the gratitude group reported feeling more closure and less unpleasant emotions than participants who didn’t write about their experience from a grateful perspective.

5. You have to be religious to be grateful

This myth is easy to bust: The new science of gratitude has clearly shown that people can have a grateful disposition even if they’re not religious. What’s more, it’s possible to boost levels of gratitude in people regardless of whether they’re religious. While some research suggests that religious people might be more inclined to feel or practice gratitude, they are by no means the only ones who score high on gratitude scales.

Happiness Practice #9: Gratitude Journal

Thnx4.org

Cultivating Gratitude

gratitude letter
Gratitude journal
Shifts in day to day habits like saying thank you more
Intentional focus on appreciation and savoring

Six Habits of Highly Grateful People

By Jeremy Adam Smith

1. Once in a while, they think about death and loss

2. They take the time to smell the roses

3. They take the good things as gifts, not birthrights

4. They’re grateful to people, not just things

5. They mention the pancakes (thankful for small things)

6. They thank outside the box

How to Foster Gratitude in Schools

gratitude does more than just make kids feel good; it also improves their mood, mental health, and life satisfaction, and it can jumpstart more purposeful engagement in life at a critical moment in their development, when their identity is taking shape.

a recent study of ours found that teens who had high levels of gratitude when entering high school had less negative emotions and depression and more positive emotions, life satisfaction, and happiness four years later when they were finishing high school.

Perhaps the most commonly used technique for boosting gratitude—among adults and youth alike—is a gratitude journal.

the gratitude visit, in which students write a letter to someone who had helped them but whom they’d never properly thanked; the students read their letter to him or her in person, then later discuss their experience with others who also completed a gratitude visit

Notice intentions.Try to encourage students to appreciate the thought behind gifts they receive—to consider how someone noticed their need and acted on it.
Appreciate costs. emphasize that when someone is helpful, that person usually sacrifices time or effort to provide the help
Recognize the value of benefits. that when others help us, they are providing us with “gifts.” This is one reason why, in our gratitude curriculum, we prompt students to focus on the personal value of the kind acts of others

I. Gratitude is for Lovers

By Amie Gordon

Step One: Feel more grateful –> Want to hold on to your relationship

Moments of gratitude help people recognize the value in their partners—and a valuable partner is worth holding onto, of course. We found this to be true in a number of studies—i.e., when people feel more appreciative than usual of their partners, they also report more feelings of commitment.

Step Two: Feel more grateful –> Work to keep your relationship

In one study, we found that people reported being more thoughtful and responsive to their partners’ needs on days when they felt more grateful for them.

Step Three: Work to keep relationship –> Partner feels appreciated

step Four: Partner feels appreciated –> Partner more grateful

Our research tries to identify the factors that sustain healthy relationships that may be experiencing a bump in the road. Gratitude is good if the relationship is good